my soul is taken away by you , i am left with nothing . if i can turn back the time , i will change the date to 29-02-08 . is not the happiest but is the time my happiness generate ...

career to me is nothing , yes i proud to said this , my ex boss really like me , he gave me employee of the month , which is like only me got it, i work there about 1 yr . no one else got it . i even got my pay increase within the 2nd mth , n i was paid highest for a period of time . ppl around take care of me . i am really happy . thats history . i nv forget that day , 2 of them cried , make me wanna tears in the eyes . i wanna stay but i got no choice . i made a mistake once , don wanna repeat again , job can find others , family , gf u cant .

i am not saying i am great , i am jus willing to sacrifice anything for my loved one .

i used to put frens in the first , neglect my loved one , in the end ...

i tried not to make the same mistake , but i made a new mistake which i nv done b4 . plead not guilty , n i get the death sentence , i don even have the chance to appeal .

this 3 weeks , i found out , frens no need so many , gd frens too . need 1 or 2 , thats it , is enough . my phone list got abt 300 names , my phone rang less than 2 times a day . i should get a pagar instead .

ppl see me as go lucky kind , i be always creating jokes , rubbish , lame stuff . thats the happy of me , did u all ever see my sad face ? do u know i am going through wat kind of shit ?

my fren son , 14 yrs old , jump down of the block cos his gf broke up with her , when i know , my both legs become soft , wat the hell is this world going on ? i am able to say this cos that time , i lucky to have her ard . now i know wat the feeling ...

my fren died in SQ006 , he had a chance to survive , but y he went in n get himself killed ? cos he wanted to save his colleague . he was a national hero after that .

last week till now ,i been wondering when a person died , where will he/she go ?
will he/she meet his/her family member or relatives who already passed away ? wat izzit like lying in the coffin , then all yr frens come , yr family crying for u .

i thought of this , cos i really feel like dying , i really wanna die . but i still cannot imagine how my parents will be if i die , how my relatives feel ? i know they will be sad , but i don wish to see they cried cos of me .

who can understand me ? if u say u understand , i tell u , u r fucking wrong , unless u can tell me wat i wan , i don even know wat i wan and u can tell me u understand me . wat the hell

soon , i will go to a far far away , learn how to stand on my feet again . i got stab in the front n back . i jus cant take it .

very soon , everyone will start to forget me . i be back or not , i donno .

one thing for sure , i will still love u , wait for u . remember , don guilty of wat u done . love is like that . but i jus cant take it .